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For YOU, my dearest MOMMY....
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May 11, 2012 10:55 pm
147 Views
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Loving hands quickly reach,
Each time she hears a cry..
Lifting up to comfort,
And kiss the tears all dry..
Weary eyes refusing sleep,
Stay the whole night through..
Her child is sick and hurting,
Her tender care is due..
The many tasks all done in love,
To make it through each day..
Seem to go unnoticed,
Till she is gone away..
A Mother is that someone,
With a mission from above..
Imparting to her children,
The image of GOD'S LOVE...
When YOU are a MOTHER, you are NEVER really ALONE in your thoughts.. A mother always has to THINK TWICE.. ONCE for HERSELF.. and ONCE for her CHILDREN.. We are all mothers working 24 hours a day.. the only reward we can get is the PRICELESS LOVE from OUR CHILDREN...
♥ HAPPY MOMS DAY to all of us ♥
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12
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HOW THE HELL...
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Apr 21, 2012 11:01 pm
271 Views
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One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever.
The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, a minute later, the same guy joined him.
This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard, and wrote, "How the heck are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote..
"I'm drowning, you moron!"
 nyahahahaha
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HORSE WHISPERER...
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Apr 20, 2012 11:21 pm
298 Views
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A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine..
"What was that for?" he asked..
"That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it," she replied..
"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Mary Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explained..
"Oh honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there was a good explanation.."
Three days later, he was watching a ballgame on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold..
When he came to, he asked, "What the hell was that for?"
She replied, "Your HORSE called!!!"
nyahahahaha
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8
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FOR ADMISSION...
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Apr 20, 2012 11:02 pm
263 Views
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During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old-age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No" he said. "A NORMAL person would PULL the PLUG..
Now tell me.. Do you want a bed near the window?"
NYAHAHAHAHA
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HOW DO U KNOW???
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Apr 18, 2012 6:45 am
329 Views
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An American man, a Russian man, and an African man were all up in a hot-air balloon together. After a few minutes, the Russian man put his hand down through the clouds. "Aaah!" he said. "We're right over my homeland."
"How can you tell?" asked the American.
"I can feel the cold air." he replied.
A few hours later the African man put his hand through the clouds. "Aah we're right over my homeland." he said.
"How do you know that?" asked the Russian. "I can feel the heat of the desert."
Several more hours later the American put his hand through the clouds. "Aah, we're right over New York."
The Russian and the African were amazed.
"How do you know all of that?" they exclaimed..
The American pulled his hand up..
"My watch is missing."
nyahahaha
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6
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WATCH... and LEARN....
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Apr 9, 2012 2:57 am
382 Views
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First year students at Medical School were receiving Their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet and started to whisper to each other.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have TWO important QUALITIES as a doctor. The first is that you should NOT be DISGUSTED by ANYTHING involving the HUMAN BODY."
The Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anus of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth.
"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students initially freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anus of the corpse and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at the class and told them,
"The second most important quality is OBSERVATION.. I STUCK in my MIDDLE finger but SUCKED on my INDEX finger..
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww !!!
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1
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UNLEADED.. PREMIUM.. or REGULAR...???
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Apr 8, 2012 7:21 am
434 Views
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A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, "I'm going to a Halloween party, and I want to go as Adam."
The girl brings out a fig leaf..
But he says, "Not big enough!"
So she brings out a bigger one..
"Still not big enough!"
So she brings out a HUGE fig leaf..
"Still not big enough!" he proudly tells her..
So she says..
"Listen, Ace, why don't you just THROW your THING over your shoulder and go as a GASOLINE PUMP???"
nyahahahaha
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6
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THOU SHALL NOT SPEAK...
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Apr 8, 2012 7:09 am
454 Views
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Not To Be Discussed During Surgery :
1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."
2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."
3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"
5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"
6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh....thingie."
7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."
8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"
9. "Damn, there go the lights again...."
10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."
11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"
NYAHAHAHAHAHA
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8
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